Love: Dancing Leaves and Crashing Seas
Love. What is it? I a culture run by social media and marketing, it is #goals, a swipe right, Fifty Shades of Grey, or a month in “paradise.” It is sought after through the glowing screens of smartphones, computers, and movie scenes. It is quickly recycled; when it no longer gives what one wants, it is thrown away. It is a grasp in desperation, the tainted truth found in Facebook relationship statuses. It is a reality that will never exist. It is not love, and it’s ruining what love truly is.
Imagine; you are a ‘romantic’ in a generation of empty texts and hidden lies. You see and feel things. Walking into the sunlight, you feel its warmth. You sense the breeze, you see the trees. You feel their power, radiating through the earth. The shadows of the leaves paint a picture; sending strobes of white light around you, dancing and glowing. You breathe in and smell the dirt, the hot asphalt of the path underfoot. You hear the birds having their morning conversations amongst the branches. You feel the energy of every living thing around you, and you think it’s beautiful.
You pass people. Many are silent, lost in their phones. Looking for a sense of connection, you watch their faces, waiting for a smile, a glance, a flicker of energy, yet the second passes and… nothing. Suddenly you feel alienated. You are left analyzing your sense of detail. In this world of pixels and screens, what you believe in does not matter. The sun becomes too hot, the birds become white noise, the shadows a scurrying mess. Everything you see becomes grey, drained of life, and you feel lost.
And then the world stands still.
Amongst the grey, you see an edge of colour. An old soul, genuine and shy. Determined and powerful, yet soft and calm. He is a leader and a follower. The quiet of night and the crash of waves. He reminds you of the earth, the trees, the rain. The shadows begin to dance, the birds begin to sing. The details return, like you’ve found your way again. When you turn to look, you see the back of his passing figure; head bowed, purposeful and serene. Just a regular man, yet different in every way: he holds no phone. You are left with a deep sense of calm. With the world righted, you fall back into yourself. Through the passing day you search for him. When the sun begins to fade, and the moon to rise, he remains a memory. You wonder if you will ever see him again, and the grey starts to creep back in.
But the next week you see him again. Oceans in his eyes, you see colours again. You hear sounds again. You feel again. With just a glance, you fall back into yourself.
Months pass. With each week, the colours are restored by his presence. You begin to long for more. You want nothing more than to talk to him, but with each week you freeze. You don’t understand the strings pulling you back until the grey returns. Sucked through pixels and false dreams, the internet draws you in. Amongst the explore page lies glorified couple photos. Slim, lean, and fit models scatter the scene; not a hair out of place. Everything is perfection. You begin to compare yourself to the false reality. The problem is you know the lies, you see through the photoshop and the strategic lighting. But no one else does. The rest of the world lives by these lies. To go against them is to rebel; to be undesirable. So you begin to believe it too.
You are stuck. You are lost in an endless cycle of questioning your heart, your worth, your desirability; you don’t fit the pictures on the screen. This man, who’s simple presence and meaningful glances make you feel alive, is unreachable. You refuse to succumb to the pressures of likes and hashtags, to hide behind the technological veil. So you refuse to communicate with him. The fear of breaking the mold and communicating in person haunts you everyday, and your chance at love suffers for it.
Love is not likes on a photo, or hashtags in a description. It is not a way to fill the void, or an excuse for attention. It is not a confession of lust, or communication through a screen. Love is loyalty, honesty, respect. Love is emotion. Love is experience. Love is the connection obtained by giving a part of yourself to someone else and the sacrifices you make to keep a part of them. Love is joy, despair, regret, assurance; love is collaboration. Love is connection, eye contact, meaningful conversations, passion. Love enhances what you already have, rather then filling in what you don’t.
To a generation that thrives on the instantaneous and simple, love is not appealing. Having the world at the touch of a finger turns everything into a victim of materialism. But no one can order it with two day shipping. No one can choose its style, colour, or size to fit their needs. Social media has turned love into a trend, a trend that is easily discarded and replaced. It is all a LIE. Relationships take work. A relationship is the result of what is put into it; with no effort it will result to nothing. This general opinion makes it feel impossible for the ones wanting to put in the work; and I want all the work.
So here is my PSA: Put down your phones, and start taking chances. Yah, its great that we can talk and see each other through a hand-held device. It doesn’t take that much work to type a few things on a screen. But how far does that get you? At some point if this thing is going to be real, you have to actually SEE your person, TOUCH your person. But that requires patience, emotional and physical energy. And that is my whole point. Love is just like Newton’s 3rd law: For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. What you put into a relationship is what you get out of it. This is my PSA to stop half-assing things to make them easier and actually work for what you really want. Stop settling for second best because social media tells you to. Just put yourself out there and give a damn; feel a damn.
That man/woman/partner is out there. To hold back is a waste of time and energy. Make the move. Shock them with real words, a smile, a handshake. The world needs spontaneity, vibrance, colour, love. It might take time, hell I’m still working on it myself, but I assure you, even if it doesn’t work out, you can feel proud that you brought a little human connection back into this grey world. Life does not revolve around a virtual reality. Life is happening all around you. It’s time to start living; it’s time to start feeling; it’s time to start loving.